BOU ‘N NASIE MET DOMMES


YCL see plenty of leadership material amongst new crop of stupid Matrics

PRETORIA. Generations, Miley Cyrus, the emergence of tabloid newspapers and Nintendo Wii have all been cited as reasons for the continued plummet of intelligence levels amongst young South Africans after shocking Matric results were announced on Thursday.

The 2009 results saw a drop in the Matric pass rate from 62.5% to 60.7%, a figure which means South African school leavers are ranked marginally higher than pot-plants and slightly below goldfish on intelligence charts.

The results released on Thursday excluded those from Mpumalanga which were due to be announced at a remedial briefing on Friday.

A spokesperson for the Mpumalanga Education Department, Failsafe Twala said his department had wanted to avoid the costs involved of releasing all the results formally.

“We were hoping some eager learners with access to photocopy machines would leak the results in the same way they did with the exam papers,” he said.

“But it seems we already weeded out the only eager learners we had.

“I think our pass rates will attest to that,” he said.

Meanwhile the Young Communist League has congratulated the matrics of 2009 on their mediocre results saying a 40 percent failure rate shows the country’s youth are committed to pursuing a better life – either in government or as waiters at Chicken Licken.

Most of the country reacted with shock when the declining pass rate was revealed, with only the YCL responding positively – a reaction political experts said could be attributed to their delight at finding a new supply of semi-literate potential leaders to fulfill their succession plans.

“Studying is not for everyone,” said YCL spokesperson Lobotomy Vilikazi. “Every revolution needs its masses, and masses are far more effective when uneducated, indoctrinated and doused in petrol,” he said.

Vilikazi went on to pay tribute to teachers for their use of capitalist tools like The Daily Sun and Miley Cyrus, saying they had done well to keep the youth stupid.

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